emmastonemetodeath:

My favorite thing to do is to text people that comment on Justin Bieber’s instagram pictures begging him to text them

mistercoventry:

*walks into a strip club and slaps a $1 bill on the table*

Yes, hello, I’d like one sex please.

lonelywhiteasian:

i prefer girls with the natural look. no makeup, never gotten a haircut, covered in dirt, feeding off of berries and raw fish in the wild, are actually bears. 

isthatwhatyoumint:

i’m a good cat mom

littledragonprince:

(pssst)

(trans people have existed for literally centuries)

(non-binary people too)

(the only reason you hear more about trans people now is because its actually a little more safe to explore your gender than ever before)

(did you think of that. did you use your brain for more than one second)

uriels:

fairly certain that my physics textbook snapchats are my greatest achievement in life

lilythegr9:

“mommy, can I-“

“not unless u get 100000 notes on a post, honey”

h0odrich:

THE FROZONE ONE WAS SOMEONE IN MY HIGH SCHOOL A GRADE UNDER ME